Sunday, 18 March 2012

Mother's Day Musings

Apologies for having been a little bit quiet this week, I've been very busy actually doing my job and marking endless student assignments. The extent to which it has dominated my life has been a bit of a sore point, in future I'm going to try to organise my time better so that I don't feel so swamped. Anyway, somehow we made it through the week and I am thankful. 

Today is Mother's Day (in the UK) and I have had a great day full of simple pleasures. A much needed and appreciated lie-in, a big family breakfast and then out for a bike ride with F then home for some stories. A meal out, a wander around the campus, a bubble tea and making funny rice faces for supper. I also had some quiet time to myself today which gave me a few moments to reflect on my own mother and her continuing place in my life. It has been 15 months since my sisters and I lost our Mum and the constant presence of her absence is with us every day.

Today I'd like to share a few lines that I wrote about nine months ago and found again today. 

'Let life carry me forward and hold me. Let me move further from pain and darkness and closer to light and love. Let me treasure and hold my memories of her, and never forget her. Let me feel held by her love and remember how it is mine for as long as I shall live. Let me never forget that a mothers love is for a lifetime. Let me not be bitter or angry. Let me love her for always.'

Last year Mother's Day with all it's paraphernalia and advertising was a kick in the teeth. This year, as it's not celebrated here, I've appreciated the lack of reminders. Still, it has always been a special day and one that I don't forget (apparently unlike Valentine's day which J and I both forgot this year). While this year I miss my Mum, as I will every year, I feel more at peace with my loss. In my experience grief changes and evolves with time, and I have left the darkest depths. To find peace and acceptance with loss is a journey not a destination: I am on my way. I will always be grateful that I am my mother's daughter. She inspires me every day, as do the wonderful funny brave sisters that she gave me.

I am thankful that I am a mother and a wife, and for my beautiful boys big and small. I am truly blessed.

Happy Mother's Day everyone. Please hold those you love close. 


  1. Oh, your words are so tender x You carry your mothers' strength and share it so well. A big loving hug to you xxxxxxx Miche x

  2. I'm happy for you that Mother's Day is so low-key where you're living; I lost my mom at the age of 19, and even though it has been 6 years, I still hate Mother's Day. It appears to be a far easier holiday for my older sister, who is a mother herself, but I still find myself struggling to just ignore the whole event so that I don't become bitter. (It doesn't always work.)

    I'm glad that you have sisters to share your grief with. It really does help, doesn't it? As you are now discovering, the grief fades more into the background with time. I wish you peace and good memories.